POSITIVE PARENTING

Parenting refers to the aspects of raising a child aside from the biological relationship. Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world — and the one for which you might feel the least prepared.   

To practice good parenting, one needs to develop and demonstrate self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation and cheerfulness. Also, there should be strict guidelines followed in terms of action and reaction. Establishing house rules helps kids understand your expectations and develop self-control. As we teach the child to not cross the line, the same should be followed and observed by parents also. One should never hit a child under any circumstances even if the child doesn’t shape up to your expectation. Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it and express your feelings. Be sure to include consequences. Make suggestions and offer choices. A child’s behaviour is reflection of relationship with his or her parent. One needs to be adaptive with the child’s development as each stage demands different treatment and responses. The early stage demands protective behavior, the progressive age looks for a friend and then a mentor and so on. One needs to encourage independence, so that they develop sense of self direction.

Parenting is incredibly challenging and rewarding. As parents, we exert maximum influence over children till the time they enter school.  Hence it is important that parents give children a good start.  We should recognize that kids come into the world with their own temperaments and it is our job to prepare a child for complete independence.  Too much parenting cripples’ children as they become adults rendering them unable to cope with mere setback.  Nobody can be perfect parents since it is something which gets developed gradually. 

People say being a parent is a huge responsibility.  There are some who consider it a task but for me parenting is something which we have chosen of our own free will. 

Most of the time it is difficult to understand a child’s mind.  Just the other day my cousin’s son had gone to play with his friends and returned home within 15 mins stating that he is not going to play with a boy since he always speaks to him in a loud manner and with no respect. My cousin gave some time for her son to cool down and then explained that we should always be friendly with our friends.  In case we don’t like anything be frank about it and let them know about our displeasure. There should be no ego among friends and should sort out issues there itself. Her son later went down and solved the issue with his friend.  We must teach our child about being open and frank at certain places and voice our opinion to avoid misunderstanding.

Parenting also demands spending regular time with your child and constant endeavoring to ensure the desired goals are met. Taking time out for breakfast or dinner helps to spend quality time(connect) and provides a sense of attention. It also calls for tremendous amount of patience since the behavioural changes would be gradual and may require tactical changes whenever required. The child should be acknowledged and rewarded at frequent intervals to boost their self-esteem and motivation for ‘doing right’. The results cannot be achieved by mere words and the behaviour aspects should reflect in the parents first for the child to look upon and learn. Constant criticism should not be added but negative or positive aspects should be highlighted so that the child takes it in the right spirit and manner. Focus on the areas that need the most attention rather than trying to address everything all at once. Parents needs to be a role model and exhibit certain traits before the same is expected out of a child. Model the traits you wish to see in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance. 

In the current competitive world, there is constant pressure for a child to excel and hence its very vital to balance out. A child should be given a sense of safety and security for them to adapt and learn. The fear of failure should not act as hindrance and they should be encouraged to set limits for themselves. Letting the child become independent and take responsibility for routine tasks, such as putting away their toys, dressing themselves and helping with household chores helps the child become resilient and build self-esteem. Parents must remember that each child is an individual and that what works for one does not necessarily work for another. There is likely to be an element of trial and error as parents discover which technique works best for each of them.

CHILDREN ARE OUR RESPONSIBILTY AND WE NEED TO NUTURE THEM SO THAT THEY GROW INTO A RESPONSIBLE CITIZEN AND ADD VALUE TO OUR SOCIETY.