A Suitable Candidate

With pleasure, Team MocktailMommies welcomes Varad of LERT on board today. He is an aspiring Writer, Bookworm, Sun Tzu fan, Himalayas lover, Proud father and a Happy husband – not necessarily in that order. Over to you Varad...

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Chennai

Swanky office of a Multi-national e-commerce firm

July 2016

‘Where do you see yourselves ten years from now?’

An irritated groan rippled through Shiv’s mind even as he tried his level best not to roll his eyes.

‘Something funny?’ The interviewer admittedly was sharp, Shiv conceded to himself.

‘Absolutely nothing, Sir. I was just wondering why this is such an integral question to any interview. That’s all.’

‘You will get the answer to that question when you are on this side of the table, my friend. Now, do you have an answer?’

‘Sure, Sir. In ten years, I see myself happily married with two kids – a girl and a boy, in that order.’

Ha! Take that, smug interviewer!

‘I’m sorry?’

‘No need to be, Sir. It’s where I see myself and I’m sure you would agree it isn’t such a bad place to be, wouldn’t you?’

‘Definitely! But I guess you didn’t quite get my question.’

Shiv shook his head, ‘Oh no! I sure did get your question. Between you and me, we would have encountered this question a few hundred times, yeah? What did you expect me to answer? The same run of the mill blah-blah, loyal servant to my organization, blah, a true leader, blah, epic motivator, crisis manager, etc… spiel? Or the cautiously arrogant – I see myself in your seat spiel? I’m pretty sure you’d be bored and borderline irritated listening to these answers, right? So, please allow me to stick to my answer – happily married with two kids -  a girl and a boy, in that order. Oh! A sleek Mercedes wouldn’t be bad to add to that picture.’

The interviewer smiled a nasty grin, ‘Thank you Mr. Shiv Acharya. It’s been…interesting, to say the least.’

Shiv shrugged, ‘Good luck with your search, Sir! I’ll leave you to your devices. Thank you.’  

Mumbai

Coffee Day – Bandra

September 2016

‘So, Swapna! What do you look for in a prospective candidate?’

Swapna sipped her Mocachillo slowly as she considered Priyank’s question. What did she look for indeed? Definitely not random meetings in coffee shops after the moms discussing their match through matrimony.com on telephone for starters.

‘Well, Honesty definitely. A dishonest man is not worth considering at all.’

‘Interesting! What else?’ Priyank slurped his Fruity-bliss noisily, scaring few mosquitos that dared venturing near their table.

Dude! What’s with this interviewing?

‘Looks, dressing sense, empathy, spontaneity …yeah’

‘What about prior experience? Would you rate looks over that?’

‘What?’

‘What?’

‘I don’t follow, Priyank.’

‘You are a HR manager with Damageon, right? I was asking about that…oh!’

‘Yeah! Sorry.’

‘No need, Swapna. I’m sure you’d have had many interesting interviews, right?’

‘Yeah…I guess so!’

‘As a project manager, I face my share of weird interviews as well. Few months ago, a guy answered that he sees himself happily married with two kids -  a girl and a boy in that order when I asked him where does he see himself after ten years...what’s funny?’

‘That was a brilliant reply, Priyank. If he’s happily married with two kids after ten years, that means his career has been sorted out, right?’

‘Well. He’s an idiot for not taking things seriously.’

‘I’d have hired him!’

‘What? Really?’

‘Oops! Guess we both are looking for different things, eh?’

‘I don’t follow, Swapna.’

‘Good luck, Priyank.’

Later that evening…

Toto’s Garage pub, Bandra

‘Dude, seriously?’ Meeta guffawed spraying beer everywhere, earning disgusted looks.

‘He started interviewing me yaar! I’m pretty sure he would have asked for my salary breakup in the next five minutes.’

That brought about another bout of laughter from Meeta.

‘What do these guys look for before accepting to marry someone? Seriously!’

‘Eh! Excuse me guys. Very sorry to interrupt you two. Can I please get a seat at your table?’

Swapna cast an irritated glance at the intruder. Just as she was about to say a rude ‘NO’, the guy flashed her a disarming smile.

‘Please guys! I’m new to your city and a single guy roaming around with a beer in a pub can raise suspicions. I have an interview tomorrow and I don’t want to be taken to a Police Station tonight. I promise I won’t overhear or butt into your discussion much.’

Meeta rolled her eyes and nodded, much to Swapna’s chagrin.

‘Muchas Gracias, amigas! I’m Shiv.’

‘I’m Meeta and this is Swapna.’

‘So, what were you guys discussing? Oops, bad one!’

‘Swaps, let’s hear a guy’s opinion on what we were discussing, what say?’

‘Whatever!’

‘So, Shiv! Tell me, you are a prospective groom meeting a girl for the first time. What would be the first things you’d like to know about her?’

‘Well, two important things – 1. The speed at which she usually keeps the fan running during the night and 2. The volume at which she listens to music.’

‘What?’ Swapna turned her head so fast that she almost sprained her neck.

‘Well, if my expectations match hers on these two things, all other things would be just formality.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah! Life is very simple. Take care of the little things that might cause a long term impact and the big things will follow suit.’

‘Fair point,’ Swapna conceded.

‘Anyways, guys. Thank you very much for your hospitality. I’ll take my leave now. Wish me luck?’

‘Don’t think you need any!’

‘I’ll drink to that. Cheers!’

The next day…

Damageon India Office

‘May I come in?’

‘Yes! Oh hi! Come on in. Do take a seat, not that you have any issues joining random people in their tables.’

Shiv nodded at Swapna with a grin and took his seat.

‘So, Shiv, where do you see yourselves in ten years?’

‘Happily married with two kids -  a girl and a boy, in that order.’

They smiled at each other..... 

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About Varad...

Varad is an accomplished blogger and businessman. He is a doting husband and father of two. He blogs at https://looseendoftheredthread.wordpress.com/  Along with his wife, Namratha, he has started #MicroMondays series. To know more about him, click here... 

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This post is written for the December blog hop #mymojo with Shalzmojo

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